Life Before Medication
by swimmerKim
Summary: Someone on Tumblr sent me a prompt asking me to write a fic about anxiety playing a major role in Aubrey's life and Chloe helping her through it. I thought that it would be a good prequel to Love and the Right Kind of Drugs. (On hiatus).
1. Chapter 1

Returning to Barden after winning ICCAs should have been a huge adrenaline rush for Aubrey. After four years of hard work, the blonde was ecstatic that she was finally being rewarded for it with sweet victory. While in New York, Aubrey made sure to have a good time enjoying the victory with her teammates.

Unfortunately, the excitement vanished the second their bus pulled onto Barden's campus. Aubrey could no longer ignore her everyday stresses and responsibilities on top of all of the catch up work she would have. In a matter of seconds, the blond had gone from an unmatchable high to a ball of stress. Barden had given the Bellas and Trebles a week of excused absences from classes to travel and compete at nationals. All that meant to Aubrey was that she was a week behind her peers. Would this effect her status as top of her class? What if she never closed that gap? What if she didn't graduate?

These were just a few of the worries that were swirling in Aubrey's head by the time she had stepped off the bus and started walking back to her and Chloe's apartment. A block into her pre-occupied walk, the blonde jumped a foot in the air as she felt a hand on her shoulder. Aubrey turned around and was met with Chloe's concerned eyes, "Bree are you ok? You're walking really fast and you're muttering to yourself?"

Aubrey composed herself as much as she could before answering. "Yes I'm fine Chloe. I was deep in thought about what I have to do before we return to classes on Monday."

The redhead's eyes turned stern. "Bree I've known you for too long to know when you're stressed out and lying about being stressed out. You're clearly both right now."

The blonde couldn't help but gulp, knowing that she had been caught. Noticing how much what she had just said added to her friend's stress, Chloe softened her expression. "I'm not going to make you do it now, but when we get home, we're definitely talking about this."

Seeing no way out, Aubrey simply nodded her head in understanding as she and Chloe walked the rest of the way back to their apartment in silence.

When the seniors got back to their apartment, they instinctively walked to the couch and sat down at opposite ends. Since moving into the apartment, the couch had become the place where the girls had all of their important talks, everything from venting about school and the Bellas to how afraid they were for the future.

The redhead gave the blonde a few moments to prepare for the talk they were about to have before asking, "What's wrong Bree?"

Aubrey was unable to stop the tears that came spilling from her eyes. Not missing a beat, Chloe pulled the blonde into her body and began stroking her hair and whispering soothing things into her ear to calm her down.

After five minutes of crying into her roommate's shoulder, Aubrey had calmed down enough to speak. "Chloe, I don't know what I'm gonna do. I'm so far behind. What if I don't catch up and don't graduate? How would I tell my father I failed? I can't be the first person in my family to not have a professional degree. And how can I get a professional degree if I don't have a bachelor's degree? And on top of that, my parents are starting to get suspicious about me never talking about boys. Oh and of course, how can I forget about the fact that I still haven't found an internship for the summer."

Chloe sat stunned. She had no idea that Aubrey was so stressed out about more than the usual pressures of pleasing her father. "Bree, why didn't you tell me about all of this? I'm your best friend and roommate, all I want is to help you and I can't do that if I don't know what's bothering you.

Aubrey took a deep breath to steady herself, "I know, it's just so close to graduation that I figured you'd be busy with your own problems."

This omission broke Chloe's heart. She thought it had been clear from move in day freshman year that she always had time for Aubrey. "Of course I'm busy, but I will always make time for you, no matter how small your problem is. Do you understand?"

The blonde nodded her understanding. The red head smiled at her roommate and pulled her in for another comforting hug. "Good. Now let's get some sleep. We have to get back to the real world tomorrow and start getting ready for school on Monday and then we're taking you to a psychologist."

Chloe could tell that Aubrey was going to try to argue with her and shot the blonde a hardened look that quickly sent Aubrey into submission as she nodded her understanding. The rest of the night, the seniors spent holding each other on the couch.

The next day was a typical Saturday morning. Aubrey was off working out and running errands by the time Chloe got up. Normally, Aubrey beat Chloe home and had homework sprawled out on the kitchen table to stay on top of her schoolwork. Instead, the redhead was greeted to a note in place of her roommate's books. All the note said was, "At the library. Don't wait up."

Knowing her roommate, Chloe knew that Aubrey was stressed about being behind, but that did not excuse her from blowing Chloe off. Before she could even think, the redhead grabbed her keys and started making her way to the library.

With finals just around the corner, the library was busier than usual for a Saturday evening, but Chloe knew Aubrey's favorite study spot and wasn't surprised to see her roommate staring intently at her laptop, headphones in and bottom lip pulled between her teeth. Normally Chloe wouldn't bother Aubrey because she didn't want to invoke Aubrey's wrath, but she knew Aubrey's mental health was more important than whatever she was working on.

The redhead stroke over to Aubrey's table and stood in front of her with her arms crossed for a few moments. When the blonde failed to look up at all, a normally sweet and gentle Chloe walked behind Aubrey and roughly pulled the headphones right out of her hears.

Aubrey's head hot up and looked around to find out what had interrupted her studying. When green eyes finally laid on her roommate, the blonde shrieked, "What the hell Chloe?""

The blonde's outburst was met with a chorus of shushes from other studying students. Aubrey gave a quick, sheepish apology before returning her attention back to Chloe.

"Seriously though, what the hell, Chloe? What could possibly be so important that you had to do something like that?" Aubrey sharply whispered at her roommate.

Chloe was officially pissed off now. "Oh, I don't know Aubrey, maybe the fact that you blew me off to talk about you told me yesterday so we can figure out how to help you cope with it."

Aubrey let out a frustrated sigh and ran her hand through her hair. "Yes Chloe, I believe I've made it extremely clear that I'm stressed, which is why I'm here trying to study so I can feel prepared for my exams. Also, there is no "we" in this whole situation, this is my life and my problems, so while I appreciate the concern, but you being here is causing me more harm than good so would you please just leave?"

Chloe took a few steps back before locking eyes with the blonde, "Fine. I'm going to go back to the apartment. I'll wait half an hour, if you aren't back by then I'll assume you are terminating our friendship. I'll finish out our lease and be friendly, but the second my last final is over I'm moving out and cutting out all contact with you. I don't want to do that, but I can't have you tell me about your problems and not let me help you, it's too much of a burden to know you're hurting but not be able to do anything about it. So I'll be at the apartment. I really hope you make the right decision for yourself, not the one that would please your father."

With that, Chloe left the library. Aubrey watched the redhead walk away until she was completely out of sight. The tone of Chloe's voice told Aubrey that she wasn't bluffing. Aubrey leaned as far back as the uncomfortable chair would allow, closed her eyes and rubbed her temples as she contemplated her options. "You fucked up big time Posen."


	2. Chapter 2

So this was originally planned to be a two shot, but I really feel an attachment to this story and feel like potentially making it into a multi-chapter. Let me know in a review or by following so I know if I should continue. Just a heads up that this will be put on a temporary hiatus.

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The first thing Chloe did when she walked into the apartment was set a timer on the stove for half an hour, she fully planned on following through on the threat she had made to Aubrey in the library. While she waiting out the time, the redhead sat on the couch and turned on the TV in hopes of distracting herself from the situation.

The redhead channel surfed for a few minutes before settling on a reality show. Chloe wasn't really paying attention to it, her mind was too busy contemplating the situation at hand. In less than half an hour, would her eight-year friendship with Aubrey really come to an end? They had been through so much together and Chloe had assumed they would go through even more together, but she knew she had to do what was best for herself as well.

The idea of potentially losing her best friend made Chloe cry for a few minutes, but forced herself to stop as she reminded herself that she had done everything in her power to save the friendship. Chloe looked over at the stove and saw the blonde still had 13 minutes left to walk through the door and prove that she did care about herself and what was best for her as much as the redhead did.

Chloe's head shot up and looked up at the stove when she heard a key beginning to unlock the door, only a minute and forty-three seconds remained.

When her attention turned back to the door, blue eyes laid on Aubrey's sheepish face as she set her backpack down by the door. "Hey," she tried hesitantly.

"Hey," Chloe replied in a clipped tone as she stood up and made her way to the kitchen to turn off the timer.

Aubrey took a nervous breath in an attempt to calm her nerves before continuing. "I'm so sorry Chlo. I'm sorry for taking so long to come back to the apartment. I'm sorry for worrying you about the state of my mental health while refusing to let you help me. I'm sorry for how I've treated you in the eight we've known each other. You deserve better than being used as my personal punching bag whenever something wasn't going my way. So, even though I don't deserve it, I was wondering if you would be willing to give me another chance to let you in and try to help me?"

A genuine smile crossed Chloe's face as she walked over to the blonde and gave her a bone-crushing hug and kiss on the temple. "Of course, Bree. All I've ever wanted is to help you. I'm so happy you're finally letting me in."

The blonde couldn't help but tense when she felt Chloe's lips on her, but quickly recovered, hoping she wouldn't notice. When the redhead pulled away and offered her a tired smile. "Can we start tomorrow? Today has been really long and a bit of an emotional roller coaster so I'm pretty exhausted."

The redhead continued to beam and nod. "Of course, Bree. I'll see you tomorrow morning and we can stay here or go somewhere and talk."

Aubrey gave her a weak smile and agreeing before making her way to her bedroom to go to sleep. When she was in her room, the blonde let out a heavy sigh, she knew that she had made the right decision in coming back to the apartment. What fun would straight A's and being a national acapella champion be if she didn't have Chloe to share her success with and offer her a celebratory shot? Knowing the next day would be draining Aubrey decided to just go to sleep.

The first thing Aubrey noticed when she woke up was coffee, which automatically alarmed her. Aubrey was always awake before Chloe, meaning she was responsible for making the coffee. The blonde shot out of bed and made her way out of her room to the kitchen.

Aubrey immediately saw Chloe sitting at the breakfast bar drinking her coffee while scrolling on her laptop before looking up to see her roommate standing a few feet away, looking confused and disoriented. "Morning Bree. Did you sleep ok?"

"What time is it?" The blonde immediately asked.

Chloe looked at her laptop before hesitantly answering, "It's 11:30."

"You let me sleep until almost noon?" Aubrey half yelled in disbelief.

The redhead got down from her stool and moved so she was standing in front of the blonde. "Yes, I did. You've been running yourself ragged the last few weeks. You clearly needed the sleep." Chloe responded sternly.

The blonde backed down at Chloe's tone, she had only ever used that tone one time prior in their entire friendship and knew she meant business.

Seeing Aubrey back down and silently agreeing to listen to her, Chloe continued in a softer tone. "Do you want anything for breakfast before we talk?"

"Would you make your famous pancakes? You haven't made them in a while." The blonde asked, vulnerability clear in her tone.

"Of course. Take your coffee and go sit on the couch. I'll call you when they're done." Chloe said before setting to work.

Half an hour later, the redhead had a platter stacked high with pancakes and called her roommate in to let her know that they were done.

Aubrey immediately took three and placed them on her plate before putting her desired amount of butter and syrup on them.

The blonde couldn't help but moan in satisfaction as she bit into her pancakes. She had laid Chloe's pancakes since the first time she had had them at a sleepover freshmen year of high school. When she asked what the secret ingredient was, the redhead just winked at her and said it was the Beale family secret in everything they made: love. Normally, Aubrey would have rolled her eyes at how cheesy the line was, but in this case she didn't doubt that Chloe putting some love into the making of the pancakes did make all of the difference.

When they were done with breakfast, both girls silently contributed to cleaning up the kitchen and dining room.

"So, where do you want to talk?" Chloe asked, wanting Aubrey to be as comfortable as possible while talking about feelings that she kept buried deep inside herself.

"Um, the couch is fine with me." Aubrey said as she made her way over, not making eye contact with Chloe.

When they were seated at opposite ends of the couch, the girls sat in silence for a few minutes before Chloe realized that it was going to be on her to get the ball rolling. "What's going on, Bree?"

Almost immediately, the tears started flowing down Aubrey's cheeks. "Just when I thought everything was coming together in New York, I came back to Barden to realize that they're actually falling apart. Sure, we won ICCAs, but at what cost? We missed a week's worth of class when finals are right around the corner. I know I always say I'm going to fail an exam when I don't feel prepared, but I think it could actually happen."

Chloe sat in shock at what Aubrey had just told her, she had no idea that the blonde's anxieties went that deep. "Oh Bree, I'm sorry you've been so stressed," the redhead said as she pulled the blonde in for a hug, noting that Aubrey tensed instead of relaxing into the hug like usual.

The redhead pulled away before locking eyes with her roommate, "Bree, are you sure there isn't anything else bothering you? Normally, you love when I hug you."

Aubrey looked down at her hands before mumbling something.

"I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that." Chloe said.

"I said I'm gay and I'm in love with you Chloe!" Aubrey exclaimed, tears brimming at the bottom of her eyes.

The redhead sat in shock with her mouth open at what her best friend had just told her.

"Oh," was all Chloe could manage to get out as she tried to process what Aubrey had just said. When she thought about it, it made sense. This was a problem that Aubrey really didn't have any control over no matter how much she worked at it and wouldn't go away when she left Barden.

"You're absolutely sure about this?" Chloe asked hesitantly.

"Of course I'm sure! I didn't wake up one morning and decide to make my life harder and risk going through a major heart break by falling in love with my best friend and potentially ruin our friendship!" Aubrey exclaimed.

"Ok, I was just checking," Chloe said in defense then waited a beat before continuing. "Is that the first time you've said it out loud? That you're gay?"

The blonde simply nodded as she stared at her hands in her lap.

"And how did that feel?"

"I guess it felt good to finally get that weight off my shoulder. Now no one can beat me to the punch. But at the same time it's nerve wracking because now that I've admitted it, there's no going back. I have no idea how my family is going to react, particularly my father."

Chloe nodded. "That seems pretty normal. I'm not gay, but from what I've read and heard gay people say, the stress leading up to coming out can be terrifying because you're constantly worried that someone is going to out you. Once you come out, no one can use it against you because they can't blackmail you with something everyone already knows. And as far as your father, I'm really not sure what to tell you. I want to tell you that he's your father and he'll love you no matter what, but I also don't want to lie to you. I know your father is an old school Southern Baptist Conservative. I don't know that he'll be ok with it, but you're an adult and you have to ask yourself what's more important to you: be yourself whether or not that involves your father, or live a lie with the knowledge that your father will be pleased. That's a decision that you ultimately have to make yourself, but I will say this, if you don't start living for yourself now, what will you ever start?"

The redhead let what she had just said to Aubrey sink in before continuing. "Now, in regards to your classes, I would recommend getting the most imminent assignments done before even beginning to think about finals. Partially because it'll be a good way to get back into school mode and they have a more immediate due date."

Aubrey nodded, what Chloe said made sense. The redhead offered a reassuring smile as she grabbed the blonde's hand to give it a comforting squeeze. "Everything will turn out fine, I promise." Chloe said with complete confidence as she stood up from the couch.

"Thank you," Aubrey said.

The redhead turned to face her best friend, a smile spreading across her face. "You're welcome Bree. Now let's get started on that late work."

A few hours later, the girls decided to take a study break and go out for dinner.

The girls decided on a casual Italian restaurant near their apartment so they wouldn't have to get dressed up and could carbload for the hours of studying they still had waiting for them.

"I'm really looking forward to this, I was following a low carb died leading up to Finals," Chloe said as Aubrey locked their door.

"I agree. It'll be a nice way to return to behaving like normal people."

Chloe grabbed Aubrey's hand and intertwined their fingers as they started walking down the hall to get to the restaurant, making the blonde tensed. She was used to Chloe looping their arms together, but this was overly friendly, even for Chloe.

Unable to think of an excuse to drop Chloe's hand, the blonde continued to hold her best friend's hand until they got to the restaurant and were surprised to see Jessica behind the hostess stand.

"Jessica, I didn't know you worked here," Chloe said excitedly as she dropped Aubrey's hand to make her way over to the younger Bella.

"Yeah, just a few hours a week so I have some extra spending money," the blonde replied before refocusing on her job. "So table for two I'm assuming?"

"Yep, just the two of us," the redhead answered cheerily.

"It is technically an hour wait," Jessica said before taking another look at her seating chart. "Ok, I'm not supposed to do this, but there is another table that we keep open for special guests in the way back kind of out of the rest of the restaurant. If you want that table, I can seat you right away," the younger woman said in a husked tone."

A wide grin spread across Chloe's face. "That would be so great! Thank you so much!" The redhead exclaimed before bringing her tone back down to match Jessica's, remembering that this was being done on the down low.

Jessica grabbed two menus and led the girls to the back of the restaurant to their secluded table. "Here you guys are, your server will be with you shortly," the blonde said before returning to the hectic front of the restaurant.

"Wow, this is really nice," Aubrey commented as she took in the exclusivity of the part of the restaurant they were in.

"Yeah, it's super romantic," Chloe added.

Aubrey shot a curious look at her roommate. Something was definitely up with her. Chloe always was the touchy feely type, but she had never linked their fingers together or commented on how romantic a place was. Chloe was a weirdo, but this was pushing it, even for her, but now wasn't the time or place to ask her about it.

"Hello ladies, my name is Joel and I will be taking care of you this evening. Can I start you off with something to drink?" A chipper, dark-haired young man asks.

"Yes, I'll have a glass of merlot and she'll have a vodka cranberry," Chloe interjected before Aubrey could.

"Of course, if I could just see some for of ID."

"Both girls complied, Aubrey dug through her purse while continuing to eye Chloe. They had gone out to dinner together numerous times, never once had the redhead acted like a supremely cocky guy taking a piece of arm candy out.

Joel left and quickly returned with their drinks. "Are you ladies ready to place your food orders?"

Again Chloe cut Aubrey off before she could say anything. "Yes we are. I'll have the manicotti and-"

"I'm capable of ordering for myself," Aubrey interrupted. "I'll have the eggplant parmesan.

The young man gave an awkward smile before leaving to put the order in. She had planned on waiting until they got back to their apartment, but Chloe's behavior couldn't be ignored any longer. "What the hell, Chlo?"

Chloe's face was red with embarrassment," I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me. I just felt the need to show off to that guy."

"Why did you feel you had to do that?" Aubrey asked, more confused than before.

A blush started spreading across Chloe's cheeks. "I want him to know that he can fuck off because I'm perfectly capable of taking care of you."

The blonde officially had no idea what her best friend was talking about anymore. "But as we discussed earlier, I'm gay so I wouldn't be interested in him anyway. Oh, not to mention, I'm in love with you so these signals are extremely confusing," Aubrey whisper yelled across the table.

Chloe sighed, "I know, but can we just enjoy dinner for right now and talk about this later?"

"Fine, but I expect a full explanation when we get home. You're not the only one who gets to make demands about sharing feelings," Aubrey warned before standing up and going to the bathroom.

The rest of the dinner was fine, the girls talked about their plans for after they graduated and the things they were ready to move on from as well as all of things they would miss at Barden. The walk home was silent except for the sound of their feet hitting the pavement.

Chloe was slow walking into the apartment. As soon as they were inside, Aubrey grabbed Chloe's hand and pulled her to the couch, sitting them on opposite ends. The redhead wasn't looking at her. "I'm not mad. I just want to know what happened, and I wish you would look at me." Aubrey said gently.

"I wish I could tell you, but to be perfectly honest, I'm not entirely sure. All I remember was thinking the whole place was super romantic which was kind of weird, then the next thing I knew I was trying to keep you from talking to the waiter," Chloe admitted, still trying to process the evening's events.

"I know you said you're not gay, but I do think that you may be in love with me," Aubrey suggested gently.

"Bree, we've been best friends from years, of course I love you, but in a platonic way," Chloe responded, tired of having to explain to Aubrey that she wasn't in love with her.

"Really Chloe?" the blonde challenged lightly. "Think about it, and how we treat each other and how that has affected our relationships. People feel like the platonic friend who we have sex with, but let's face it, we've only been in a romantic relationship with each other."

Chloe was about to counter when she stopped and really thought about what Aubrey had just said and how much sense it made. They had known each other for eight years, long before they knew anything about love other than that it existed and people sometimes spent their whole lives chasing it. She and Aubrey had loved each other since they were little, but didn't know it. They just thought it was what best friendship felt like. "Holy shit," Chloe whispered in disbelief before locking eyes with Aubrey, "You're totally right."

"Yeah, it's kind of crazy, isn't it?" Aubrey asked gently.

"It really is. I can't believe I'm bisexual," Chloe said as almost an afterthought.

Aubrey rolled her eyes, "This doesn't necessarily mean you're bisexual. Sexuality is fluid. You could very well be bisexual, pansexual, or polysexual, but you could also be a heterosexual woman who happens to be in love with another female."

Chloe looked at Aubrey with a small smile on her face. "I think I like the idea of that."

"Me too," Aubrey said, "Now, I guess there's only one thing left to do," The blonde said as she moved closer to Chloe and grabbed her hand, "Chloe Beale, my best friend since high school, will you be my girlfriend?"

The redhead's eyes filled with tears before leaning forward and pulling the blonde for a light kiss. "Of course I will. I mean, I've basically been your girlfriend for years already."

Aubrey smiled before standing up and offered her hand for Chloe to take, which she did without hesitation. The redhead sheepishly returned the smile before looking nervously at the floor.

The blonde lifted her girlfriend's chin with her pointer finger so they were locking eyes before pulling her in for a short, loving kiss, never dropping Chloe's hand. When they pulled apart, both girls were smiling. The blonde turned and led the redhead to her bedroom, closing the door behind them.


End file.
